Jennette McCurdy’s memoir, I’m Glad My Mom Died, has brought attention to some of the uncomfortable and traumatic experiences she faced while working on the popular Nickelodeon series iCarly. In particular, one of the most revealing stories concerns her first-ever on-screen kiss, which also happened to be her first kiss in real life. McCurdy details her emotional discomfort, the harsh treatment she received on set, and the lasting impact this experience had on her.

The First Kiss Scene on iCarly

In iCarly’s season 2 episode, “iKiss,” McCurdy’s character, Sam, shares her first kiss with Freddie, played by Nathan Kress. The episode aired in 2009, and both McCurdy and Kress were 17 at the time. While this milestone was a significant moment in any young actor’s career, McCurdy’s experience was far from typical. As the scene was being filmed, she found herself in a situation she was unprepared for, both emotionally and physically.

McCurdy recalls the discomfort she felt when it was her turn to perform the kiss. In her memoir, she writes about the odd sensation of her lips touching Kress’s, while her mind was overwhelmed with feelings of unease. “My lips are touching,” she describes, “but I can’t move mine. I’m frozen. His eyes are closed. Mine aren’t. Mine are wide open, staring at him.”

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Being Yelled At By The Creator

Things became even more uncomfortable when Dan Schneider, the creator of iCarly, shouted from off-camera, directing her to move her head more during the kiss. McCurdy, already in distress, found herself caught between trying to follow Schneider’s demands and the growing internal discomfort that she wasn’t ready for this moment. “My body is saying no, I don’t want this,” McCurdy writes. “I want my first kiss to be a real first kiss, not a kiss for a TV show.”

Despite her protests, the scene was reshot multiple times, with Schneider reportedly growing angrier with each take. McCurdy explains how, after each attempt, Schneider became more frustrated and yelled, “More. Head. Movement.” Eventually, after seven takes, the scene was completed, but McCurdy could feel the tension and anger emanating from the creator.

The Emotional Toll on McCurdy

Beyond the discomfort of filming, McCurdy opens up about the deeper emotional pain she felt due to her mother’s influence and her own internal conflict. McCurdy had spent much of her youth suppressing her romantic feelings, encouraged by her mother’s dismissive views on relationships and boys. This clash between her natural emotions and her mother’s expectations contributed to the overwhelming anxiety she felt during the kiss scene.

“Mom’s been very clear about how boys are a waste of time and will only disappoint me,” McCurdy writes. “I try to force it away. But as much as I try to force it away, that romantic part of me is there.” McCurdy’s experience on the set of iCarly was a reflection of the emotional burden she carried, compounded by the pressures of growing up in the public eye.

The Lasting Impact

McCurdy reflects on how the forced reshoots and the overall experience affected her, contributing to the complicated emotions surrounding her time on iCarly. The trauma she endured filming her first kiss was exacerbated by the fact that it wasn’t her choice to perform in such an intimate scene under such duress. While Kress, her co-star, offered reassurance after the scene, McCurdy’s feelings of discomfort persisted.

Her memoir not only sheds light on her experiences with the iCarly crew but also on the larger issue of how young actors, especially women, are often put in positions that feel exploitative or uncomfortable. The public’s perception of McCurdy’s time on iCarly may have been shaped by the fun and lighthearted nature of the show, but McCurdy’s behind-the-scenes story is far more complex.

Moving Forward: Jennette McCurdy’s Memoir

In I’m Glad My Mom Died, Jennette McCurdy opens up about the emotional struggles, exploitation, and difficult experiences she endured while working at Nickelodeon. Her story is one of resilience, as she shares her journey of coming to terms with the challenges she faced while pursuing a career in acting, and the toll it took on her mental health. McCurdy’s story is not just about her experiences with iCarly; it’s a raw and powerful look into the realities of being a young actor in Hollywood.

Conclusion

Jennette McCurdy’s revelation about her first kiss on iCarly is a painful reminder of the hidden pressures young actors often face. Her memoir not only gives readers an intimate glimpse into her experiences but also serves as a call to action to reconsider how young stars are treated and supported in the entertainment industry. While McCurdy’s story has gained widespread attention, it’s just one part of a larger conversation about exploitation, emotional well-being, and the need for better treatment of young talent in Hollywood.