In any long-term relationship, there comes a point when you and your partner no longer feel the need to put on a perfect front. The days of meticulously grooming and hiding your most embarrassing moments gradually fade as comfort settles in. But how much is too much when it comes to privacy between married couples? This question was recently sparked by a controversial post from Ingri Pauline, a nutrition coach and strength and conditioning specialist from Las Vegas, who shared a list of things she believes husbands should never witness their wives doing. While her opinions stirred a lot of debate, they also raised important questions about how much mystery should be maintained in a marriage, and whether or not there’s a “right” way to navigate the private moments that come with living with someone long term.

The List of Things Husbands Should Never See Their Wives Do

In her post, Ingri Pauline listed several things she believed women should keep private from their husbands in order to maintain an air of mystery and preserve their “lady-like” persona. Some of the items on the list include:

• Pooping
• Popping zits
• Plucking facial hair (other than eyebrows)
• Doing a face mask
• Waxing the bikini line
• Wearing outfits you would be embarrassed for anyone else to see you in

While some may find these points understandable, the reaction from the online community was mixed. Pauline’s philosophy seems rooted in the idea that a woman should act like a lady to be treated like one, maintaining a sense of grace and decorum even in the most private moments.

Ingri Pauline’s Philosophy: Mystery and Manners in Marriage

Ingri’s perspective goes beyond personal preference and leans into what she considers essential etiquette in marriage. According to her, part of maintaining a successful relationship is treating your partner with respect and mystery, much like how you would behave when dating. She believes that by keeping certain things private, couples can avoid slipping into a routine where they are treated more like roommates than romantic partners.

Pauline argues that keeping some aspects of yourself private, like bathroom habits or beauty routines, can help to keep the romance alive and prevent boredom from creeping into the relationship. She even went as far as to say, “Your husband will inevitably see you at your worst anyway, and it pays to keep some mystery around him.” She is convinced that by maintaining good manners and preserving a bit of intrigue, a couple can strengthen their bond and avoid the stagnation that often comes with long-term relationships.

Video:

Public Reaction: Mixed Opinions on the List

As expected, the reaction to Pauline’s post was divided. Many people agreed with her philosophy, claiming that preserving an air of mystery is essential, even in marriage. One person commented, “Absolutely. An air of mystery should be preserved even after marriage. Just as there’s some stuff I wouldn’t want to see him doing, he shouldn’t be seeing you doing all of this stuff either.”

However, a large number of users disagreed with her stance, arguing that marriage is about being comfortable and transparent with one another. One user remarked, “Some of us are adults and don’t need to hide basic bodily functions or beauty routines from our partners.” Others shared personal experiences that contradicted Pauline’s suggestions, such as a mother who had her husband help her after childbirth and accompany her to the bathroom. “Bro, literally after I was discharged from the hospital after giving birth to our daughter, my hubby had to hold my hand while I pooped. He watched a whole child come out of me. I think he can handle seeing me in ‘unlady-like’ states.”

These reactions raise an important question: how comfortable should couples be with each other when it comes to the “ugly” side of life? Should there be an expectation of privacy, or is the ability to be fully open and comfortable with each other a sign of a stronger relationship?

Marriage and Privacy: What’s Too Much to Share?

The debate about privacy in relationships is not new, and it reveals a complex balance between maintaining intimacy and preserving individuality. On one hand, there’s a natural desire for some level of privacy, even in the closest of relationships. On the other hand, total transparency can foster deep connection and understanding between partners.

In a long-term marriage, partners are bound to witness each other’s flaws, quirks, and even discomforts. The question arises: is there a line to be drawn? Should there be things that remain just for yourself, or is the true beauty of a relationship found in the ability to share even the most mundane, human moments?

While the idea of privacy might seem at odds with the “no secrets” mentality, many couples thrive on finding the right balance. Some partners find comfort in knowing they can show their “unfiltered” selves, while others prefer a level of grace and dignity, particularly around more private matters.

Challenging the Notion of “Lady-Like” Behavior

Another layer to this conversation is the societal expectation of women to always behave in a “lady-like” manner. The idea that women must maintain a certain standard of decorum, especially in intimate relationships, often stems from outdated gender norms. In a modern context, these expectations may feel limiting or even regressive to some. Should a woman really have to act in a particular way to be respected or treated with kindness?

In today’s world, relationships are increasingly built on equality and mutual respect, rather than gendered expectations. The notion of a “lady-like” persona may be less relevant now, as couples strive for authentic connections where both partners can feel free to be themselves without fear of judgment. Women shouldn’t have to hide their natural bodily functions or beauty routines to maintain respect or love from their partners.

Practical Considerations: Beauty Routines and Health

While the idea of keeping beauty routines and bodily functions private may seem trivial to some, there are practical reasons why certain things might be best kept behind closed doors. For instance, hygiene and health considerations play a role in moments of intimacy. It’s also worth noting that some people, regardless of gender, feel more comfortable maintaining certain routines in private rather than sharing them with a partner.

However, the issue with Pauline’s list is that it places an unnecessary burden on women to conform to an idealized version of themselves — one that may not align with their true, authentic self. It’s important to remember that marriage isn’t about keeping secrets, but about balancing vulnerability with respect. The idea of maintaining privacy shouldn’t overshadow the need for honesty and connection, especially in a partnership that values health and well-being.

Conclusion: Finding the Right Balance in Relationships

At the end of the day, there’s no universal rule for how much privacy should exist in a marriage. What works for one couple may not work for another, and it’s essential to communicate openly about boundaries and comfort levels. The key is finding a balance between intimacy and individuality, where both partners feel supported and respected. While maintaining a certain level of mystery can be important, it should not come at the expense of authenticity and comfort.

Ultimately, relationships thrive when both partners can accept each other’s flaws, quirks, and imperfections — whether that means witnessing a partner plucking their eyebrows, popping a pimple, or, as Pauline would put it, simply being a little less “lady-like.” In the end, love and respect should always outweigh the need to maintain an air of mystery.